Yesterday I had one of those days where I felt like my mind was just a step behind my body all day long. I'm heading out of town tomorrow for a 5K this weekend and am feeling a little stressed. By the way, thanks for your emails yesterday Beth they actually kept me smiling and sane throughout the day. Last night I had one of those moments where I just sat and laughed so I have to share with the visitors of the mansion.
I've been living on my own for almost 2 years now. When I moved out I think I took my computer, the bed from the guest room and my clothes and pretty much left everything else for her. I started all over again with trying to fill an apartment with stuff. I've done a pretty good job on the living room and my bedroom but the kitchen is still lagging way behind.
After work I went and bought a pizza from Papa Murphys. They have a new chicken, bacon and artichoke pizza that is off the hook. The deal with Papa Murphys is that they put the pizza together for you but you have to take it home and cook it yourself. No problem as I can run an oven better than most.
So I get home, preheat the oven, put on some relaxing clothes, pour a glass of wine, put in Good Luck Chuck on BluRay (first time I have ever seen that movie and I laughed my a@@ off), put the pizza in the oven, set the timer for 16 minutes and start the waiting game. After 16 minutes the smells of an Italian kitchen permeate the house, my mouth is watering and my stomach is growling in anticipation. I take the pizza out of the oven and set it on the stove top. I pick a piece of chicken off the top and enjoy the wonderful tastes as I turn to my utensil drawer to grab my pizza cutter. As I open the drawer my mind finally jumps back in my body. In my utensil drawer I have a large wooden spoon, a mix'n scaper, a large knife and a can opener (that is 2 months old and has a similar story to this one) but interestingly enough NO PIZZA CUTTER! I chuckle to myself as I look at the rather empty drawer. I now have this delicious pie in front of me and no way to cut it.
My mind starts racing through the options. I could just pick it up and start eating it - I decide this is not an option because a video of me eating it could wind up on YouTube. I could use my kitchen scissors to cut the pizza - again not an option as I can barely cut paper with them anymore. I could use my dremel tool - I decided against this option as I can never cut a straight line with the darn thing. I could use my cordless DeWalt circular saw - I eventually decide against this option after getting it out and realizing it would be overkill.
The hunger pains and the glass of wine overtake me as I think back to the recent trip to the Hibachi grill. AHA - I will just use my huge kitchen knife. I pull it out of it's case and with one fell swoop slice the piece in half. Feeling like a ninja I go about cutting the pizza into 8 very uneven, half sliced pieces. Satisfied with my carving of this wonderful pie I gently placed the sword on the counter and pull two pieces off the pizza pan and place them on my plate. Actually it was more like 2 and a half because I grabbed a piece that wasn't completely sliced and it pulled the toppings off the piece next to it but at this point I don't care.
I refill my wine glass, grab my pizza plate and retire to the living room to watch my movie and eat in peace. After shuffling between my three remote controls to get the movie working again I start laughing. Great - I have three remote controls but no pizza cutter. I ask myself - "why is no one here to see this? this is the stuff that sitcoms are made of". As I start eating my pizza I make a note to myself - tomorrow go buy a pizza cutter (and more batteries because the remote controls require 2 a piece).
I hope everyone has a great weekend. I'll check back in next week.
TheGov, out.
